Nina Yushan Lai’s painting and printmaking practices use memories as the material to embrace the uniqueness of self through understanding repetition and iteration. Her works reflect her experience as a growing child living between two different cultures, China and America. While identifying as an outsider to both cultures, she has always desired to understand the world around her. Her works build conversations between her past self and present self: from understanding and accepting the differences between herself and her twin sister to attempting to grasp the pureness of language through the activity of applying paint. Now, with the longstanding physical absence of family members, she is motivated to create family portrait paintings in her own means. A series of paintings reflects the experience of learning about the family as an outsider on the internet while searching for her identities and origins. Revisiting and understanding family history through the intertwinement of shapes and colors. Disciplining the paint while embracing chaos and the process of abstraction.